I would like to talk about beautiful things, about goodness, about virtuosity, about nobility, about happiness, about all the good stuffs here and there. I want to write something pleasant. I want to inspire people. But words don’t seem to come out no matter how hard I try to think about it. I feel so down as if the world is full of negativity. I feel so sad. And I’ve been on this state for a quite a while. Have I been so far away from the Source of My Strength that I’m starting to forget how to smile genuinely and become less cynical? I don’t know but I started to have a heavy heart. There’s like a twinge of pain in my heart that I’m trying to heal. Or have I really been trying? I’m starting to question myself and my individuality though as far as I remember, I’ve always been too sure about myself, I’ve always known where I’m going and where I’m leading to. But I feel indifferent today. I’m in desperate need of motivation. I need to get inspired. I need to have that ‘purpose’ again. It’s a shame to be as transparent as this for fear that others might feel the same way, but by admitting that I am little and weak makes me feel more human, more in need of something to hold on to. And the more I accept that I’m weak and incapable, the more I humble myself, the more I crave for something powerful to take over, and the more I yearn for His presence and find myself at peace again, in His Loving Arms.
