I find it difficult to share something about love -- that so called ‘romantic love’ terrifies me while most of the women my age get overwhelmed by it. I dunno but my fear comes from the thought of being unprepared, here I go again…
Truth is, (well asides from my parents disapproval of me having a relationship because of being the head of the family) I’m scared of expecting too much from love (but I still do). I don't wanna get disappointed. I want to treasure all the good sides of it though I know that it would be impossible to completely feel it without getting hurt. I’ve had a real conversation with couple of friends who actually had felt the pain of losing someone they terribly loved, and I, being an attentive listener empathized with them while deeply praying that these heartaches won’t happen to me. I find it ridiculous if somebody you just met would eventually tell you how he loved you on that instance. Oh well, there may be a strong attraction but love I guess is another story yet to come. But to tell you honestly, I happen to have met and befriended two men who after some time revealed how they loved me the first time they saw me. I might have gone flattered but instead I chose to just laugh at the idea. Why? Because LOVE is not as shallow as that.
I’m a type of person who’s used to go against the flow. It’s not that I’m trying to attract attention, I just don’t feel like following the norm. Since I’m speaking my heart about love, let me reveal my convictions and insights on this regard:
First, I would want my first real love be my last. But things don’t always happen the way we want it to be. Things have their own ways of getting into our lives uncontrollably, and sometimes, without us noticing them. It may not always be something we are expecting but we will definitely end up learning from it.
Second, I have this perception that love is not something we seek for. If it’s meant to be yours, it’s yours no matter what. Time and distance will conspire just to direct both of you towards that specific place and time you never know existing. You would just know it when you get there.
Third, love never runs out despite the distance. It may fade but it never dries up, it stays there waiting, enduring, wanting… because true love never gets tired.
Finally, I agree with a friend that love is mental conditioning. It’s not something you would feel right away. Have you heard a new employee saying, “Oh I love this job very much.” Don’t you think it’s illogical? How would you love something you haven’t experienced yet? Likewise, how would you say you love someone without you getting to know every detail of her? Without you spending your time with her? Love being a mental conditioning is a process. You choose the person you would want to love (it’s where attraction seeps in) – you would definitely prefer the one you feel attracted to. Then you would try doing the impossible just to be with her (I call this courtship) – just to please her. Eventually, if everything turns out good, you would be into ‘something’ (they call it commitment). This stage is crucial for it is when you would allot your time and invest your emotions to the extent in the attempt to CONDITION your mind of loving the person you choose to love. At the same time it will be your ‘turning point – the affirmation to your feelings. Surely, there would always be a rough road, that’s normal, just enjoy the ride, avoid doing shortcuts, cross the river when you get there… that’s when you would be able to test if that love is meant to be, that is, if you’re still able to reach your destination with him at the driver’s seat.
But to tell you honestly, I happen to have met and befriended two men who after some time revealed how they loved me the first time they saw me. I might have gone flattered but instead I chose to just laugh at the idea.The first I met six years ago. Where is he right now? Somewhere there. He’s still there hanging, but I had a change of heart. The second one? He’s just sitting there, approximately 35 feet away from me. I don’t know what to expect. I won’t expect at all.
photo credit : moemoechi's photostream
Truth is, (well asides from my parents disapproval of me having a relationship because of being the head of the family) I’m scared of expecting too much from love (but I still do). I don't wanna get disappointed. I want to treasure all the good sides of it though I know that it would be impossible to completely feel it without getting hurt. I’ve had a real conversation with couple of friends who actually had felt the pain of losing someone they terribly loved, and I, being an attentive listener empathized with them while deeply praying that these heartaches won’t happen to me. I find it ridiculous if somebody you just met would eventually tell you how he loved you on that instance. Oh well, there may be a strong attraction but love I guess is another story yet to come. But to tell you honestly, I happen to have met and befriended two men who after some time revealed how they loved me the first time they saw me. I might have gone flattered but instead I chose to just laugh at the idea. Why? Because LOVE is not as shallow as that.
I’m a type of person who’s used to go against the flow. It’s not that I’m trying to attract attention, I just don’t feel like following the norm. Since I’m speaking my heart about love, let me reveal my convictions and insights on this regard:
First, I would want my first real love be my last. But things don’t always happen the way we want it to be. Things have their own ways of getting into our lives uncontrollably, and sometimes, without us noticing them. It may not always be something we are expecting but we will definitely end up learning from it.
Second, I have this perception that love is not something we seek for. If it’s meant to be yours, it’s yours no matter what. Time and distance will conspire just to direct both of you towards that specific place and time you never know existing. You would just know it when you get there.
Third, love never runs out despite the distance. It may fade but it never dries up, it stays there waiting, enduring, wanting… because true love never gets tired.
Finally, I agree with a friend that love is mental conditioning. It’s not something you would feel right away. Have you heard a new employee saying, “Oh I love this job very much.” Don’t you think it’s illogical? How would you love something you haven’t experienced yet? Likewise, how would you say you love someone without you getting to know every detail of her? Without you spending your time with her? Love being a mental conditioning is a process. You choose the person you would want to love (it’s where attraction seeps in) – you would definitely prefer the one you feel attracted to. Then you would try doing the impossible just to be with her (I call this courtship) – just to please her. Eventually, if everything turns out good, you would be into ‘something’ (they call it commitment). This stage is crucial for it is when you would allot your time and invest your emotions to the extent in the attempt to CONDITION your mind of loving the person you choose to love. At the same time it will be your ‘turning point – the affirmation to your feelings. Surely, there would always be a rough road, that’s normal, just enjoy the ride, avoid doing shortcuts, cross the river when you get there… that’s when you would be able to test if that love is meant to be, that is, if you’re still able to reach your destination with him at the driver’s seat.
But to tell you honestly, I happen to have met and befriended two men who after some time revealed how they loved me the first time they saw me. I might have gone flattered but instead I chose to just laugh at the idea.The first I met six years ago. Where is he right now? Somewhere there. He’s still there hanging, but I had a change of heart. The second one? He’s just sitting there, approximately 35 feet away from me. I don’t know what to expect. I won’t expect at all.
photo credit : moemoechi's photostream
