I know it’s cliché to say that love is multifaceted. Each facet has been explored in philosophy, art, literature and religion but it remains an enigma yet to fathom by the human mind. Perhaps, its complexity is the challenge why we keep on trying to grasp its every surface, maybe, to fill the gaps in between our lives.
I’ve never been ‘strongly attached’ to anybody else besides my family and friends. Why? Because I never met someone to whom I could open up everything about me. I am afraid of rejection and disapproval. I always remain reserved. I never tried admitting even to myself that I feel admiration or love to somebody else. I contest such feeling for fear of being rejected afterwards. I would rather resist it than fall and found myself broken into pieces. They often say, ‘how would you know if you don’t try.’ True, but I never had the courage to escape from the shadow of fear. I would rather sacrifice my feeling than admitting to someone that I adore him.
I’ve never been ‘strongly attached’ to anybody else besides my family and friends. Why? Because I never met someone to whom I could open up everything about me. I am afraid of rejection and disapproval. I always remain reserved. I never tried admitting even to myself that I feel admiration or love to somebody else. I contest such feeling for fear of being rejected afterwards. I would rather resist it than fall and found myself broken into pieces. They often say, ‘how would you know if you don’t try.’ True, but I never had the courage to escape from the shadow of fear. I would rather sacrifice my feeling than admitting to someone that I adore him.
With that set of mind, I never thought about anything related to romantic love leading to courtship and marriage. My plan was I would adopt a child (from my younger sisters and brother) and treat him as my own. I would take care of my parents (my sisters and brother at that time might be happily married and have a family of their own) while serving the Lord. By then, I was too sure that I would be okay and content…
Have you ever experienced glancing at someone you don’t know, yet you feel an instant connection between the two of you?
Have you ever wondered why you felt so inspired by simply thinking of another person while admitting to yourself that he’s not really just ‘another person’?
It’s as if everything he does appears to be amazing and you’re more than delighted in knowing every detail of him.
Have you ever felt of wanting to freeze the moment you are with him or perhaps rewinding whatever bonding moments you have had together?
And have you ever come to a point on which you can’t help getting a vision of your lifetime with him without knowing why?
I could come up with so many questions pertaining to this strong emotion that we always associated with love but I tend to pause for a while if I ask myself why I feel such. I’m an idealist by nature, I apply the art of reasoning most of the time and I always succeed. But all of a sudden, I came face to face to something on which I couldn’t reason out anymore. I could try stretching all the neurons in my brains but I couldn’t grasp a precise answer. I hated that feeling of newness but that was the time I decided to surrender, and perhaps, to have another option as to where my life is leading to.
To sum this up, I could say that love is not multifaceted at all; it never has been a complicating idea. It’s just what it is: pure, honest and sincere. You can try defining it all you want and get yourself punished. But it needs not to be defined; it simply has to be felt. And you have to accept the fact that it does not follow logic, it simply appears to your senses. And having felt it is enough to bring you in a ‘three-fold utopian dream…’ (Thanks Incubus for the term ^.^)
There’s a patient heart waiting for me. And if that love is still there by the time I’m ready, who am I not to give that love a chance?
Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/queenscents/2134909465/
